AA for Hoarders | Hoarders Anonymous: Kill Your Hoarding Side

Are you holding onto old movies you don’t watch and don’t really plan on watching again? You might be an undercover hoarder.

Holding on to music CDs of lame country musicians and Hannah Montana that you hate? You might be an overt hoarder.

Still clutching onto your Panasonic 3DO from 1994? Well, that’s actually pretty awesome. But if you’re holding onto video games you never enjoyed, along with CDs, DVDs and Blu-Rays you don’t plan on enjoying, you are a mini-hoarder. It’s time to kill the habit.hoarders anonymous

AA For Hoarders: Hoarders Anonymous

Here’s my 12-step plan for hoarding types that want to break free:

  1. Admit that you’re powerless to overcome the hoarding urge and that your hoard has become unmanageable.
  2. Believe that a power greater than you can help you overcome your insanity.
  3. Make a decision to turn over your will to the Anti-Hoarding God. He also is the God of Duck Dynasty’s beards, whilst hating the Honey Boo Boo show.
  4. Make a searching and fearless inventory of the trash you’ve been accumulating for years.
  5. Start marking and labeling the hoard.
  6. Throw away hoard stuff that no one on earth has a use for.
  7. Separate hoarded goods that are worth selling.
  8. Sell your DVDs, CDs, and other entertainment stuff online.
  9. Sell your other stuff at garage sells just to keep it simple.
  10. Burn everything else in the hoard.
  11. Vacuum your house and buy some potpourri (now that spelling makes no sense whatsoever) because your house undoubtedly stinks.
  12. Have a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps and try to carry this message to fellow hoarders, and to practice these principles in all your affairs.

Seriously though. Get rid of your hoard, and make some money off it along the way by holding a garage sell, selling stuff on Craigslist and other online sites. Burn the rest!

Note: I’m not making funny of AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) or any rehab program. I have friends and family that have been through it and have never turned back to substance abuse. I support these programs and their outcomes.

[Featured image courtesy of AETV.com]

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