Something I know a thing or two about is debt and marriage. I’ve been with my husband for 11 years, married four. In our relationship, there is no ‘’his’’ and ‘’mine’’ in terms of finances. For everything else, what’s mine is mine and what’s his is mine. I kid! We manage everything together.
Given that one of the number one causes of divorce today is monetary disagreements, it is imperative that you take every step necessary to protect your marriage from failures. Especially when said failures are avoidable with a little work. How to manage debt in your marriage is a personal thing that varies between individual,s but taking generic steps to managing your debt together will help.
How to Manage Debt in Your Marriage: Open Conversation
The most important part of any relationship is good, open, conversation. This is especially important when it comes to finances. In my case all of our debt was accumulated together. When I say ‘together’ I mean throughout the duration of our relationship. My husband was always aware that I was accumulating debt for school and me aware of his debts. Even though we were aware of the debt we never discussed it or what to do about it. We just lived with it. It took a lot of education to learn about our financial situation and how to improve it. It took even more talking to finally get on the same page.
Good communication will go a long way in any relationship. When discussing debt, it is important to have an open mind and willingness to talk things out. This takes time. It will likely not be a one-time conversation. For us, we talk about our debt and money at least once a week. Once a week of distraction-free time to ensure we’re still on the same page.
How to Manage Debt in Your Marriage: Accept Help
Once you’ve discussed things and come up with a plan about how to manage your debt, accept that you may need help. Asking for help in a marriage for anything can be a difficult thing to do. We like to work through problems ourselves and involve as few people as necessary. We as humans don’t like to accept that we have failures and for some, they see asking for help can seem like a failure.
My husband and I discussed our money and debt together but ultimately decided that we needed outside help. We enrolled in a debt management program which is working out wonderfully for us. By accepting that we needed help, both our marriage and finances have improved. It was hard initially accepting that we couldn’t do it all alone but now openly talk about our debt and financial future.
Marriage is a sacred thing that needs to be taken more seriously in general. Complicating a marriage with debt can make it even more difficult. If you’re not sure how to manage debt in your marriage reach out to someone who may be able to help. Don’t let your marriage fail because of a monetary issue, it’s too special.
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